Loves; fiionaa

Hate long breaks

2010-11-30T13:20:00.003+08:00

I really hate long breaks in between classes.

At times like this I feel more alone than ever, and I feel like I didn't even go for FOC. At least, that's what it seems like to me.

So I'm skipping lunch again, since there's no one to eat with. What's new?

What a drastic change from the past.

Easy A movie screening!

2010-11-09T00:12:00.004+08:00

Hello world!

I know it has been ages since I updated. My apologies to all of you who do still check this blog every now and then! Life has been simply crazy and this semester is like hell, what with my endless readings, projects, reports and assignments all the time. Can you imagine having to come up with an ENTIRE advertising campaign EVERY WEEK!?! The work is really taking its toll on me. But I'm enjoying myself in the midst of it because I like advertising, even though it's really tough at times.

But today I decided to give myself a short break by watching the new movie Easy A! It's not officially out in Singapore yet (wait a few more days!) but today was the exclusive movie screening specially for bloggers. Thanks to the lovely Ms. Janet, who recruited me into her social media and talents company Pepperconn, I got a pair of free movie tickets to watch the preview!

In essence, Easy A is a movie that at first glance, seems like another off-the-block chick flick. When I first watched the trailer, I was thinking "Okayyyyyyyyy", but after watching the movie itself, I was totally blown away. This is not your ordinary chick flick. It comes with a pretty ordinary storyline revolving around high school drama, bitches and jerks, ostracism, flings and temporal friendships, but Easy A gives a whole new twist to it. In Easy A, you watch events unfold from the perspective of Olive, who begins as an "invisible" girl in her school but becomes infamous overnight when rumours about her sexual flings start spreading like wildfire across the school.

What I really liked about the movie was how it managed to make it emotional without trying too hard. Olive's feelings wasn't brought in until towards the end, where she breaks down from everything. And of course, there's the real reason why she went along with the rumours in the first place, going so far as to even embroider the letter "A" (for adulterer) on her clothes...which I obviously won't tell you here because you should go watch it for yourself to find out!

I also loved the romance part of the movie. It was really subtle though, and it's a sweet but not overly sugar-sweet kind of high school love stories you typically see in most movies. Also, the main question is: what will the guy of her dreams think of her after all these rumours about her being a slut and a sex whore? I won't reveal the catch here, but all I can say is that it was totally unexpected. Here's a picture of the cute pair:

In all, an amazing movie, and I owe it all to Ms Janet for giving me the chance to catch this :) It was a well-deserved break from all my work!

My project assignment is calling out to me now to get started, so I shall end this here for now. Till then, I leave you with the trailer so you can go watch the movie too :))) Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MMzzpcSeMc&feature=fvst

P.S. I really liked the part where Olive says her name is an anagram for I LOVE. Awesome.

21st celebrations theme

2010-10-28T01:57:00.001+08:00

I think I want a dance-themed party for my 21st celebration :)

Invisible

2010-10-06T11:03:00.002+08:00

At times I feel like I'm a ghost in front of you as well. I mean, I get that you're busy, but has it never crossed your mind that I'm busy as well? If I can make the effort, I don't see why you can't. Not that you even seem to be trying. So much has changed from yesteryear. It feels like a one-man show. I cannot do this on my own.

If you truly loved me then you wouldn't make me feel like I'm invisible.

I miss you, B

2010-09-09T03:05:00.002+08:00

I remember all the happy times I had with you guys. And I do still miss them.

But busy schedules are something I cannot control, neither are they something I can change.

Things like this drive people apart I guess. "Attrition rate", as Darius said today after dinner.

Each time I see the pictures I'll feel this heavy sense of regret coming on. Wishing that I could still be a part of you guys. But I guess nothing can reverse time, nor can we do anything about it now. These outings...I'm no longer a part of.

Hall is awesome. But sometimes even hall isn't enough.

I miss you, B.

Distance

2010-06-14T23:41:00.001+08:00

Someday I foresee all these crazy commitments will amount to nothing. The leaves on the trees will continue to breeze in the wind when suddenly we open our hearts and realize that everything we've done in the past have come to naught, and the distance which grew between us too much to bear.

What can I do to prevent this distance from getting bigger?

Screw this bout of sickness

2010-05-25T12:29:00.002+08:00

I really, really hate being sick. If having a queasy stomach isn't bad enough, I also feel like throwing up at random times of the day, I'm perspiring just sitting now, my throat is killing me and I hardly have the energy to move about. I think I'm just going to curl up on my sofa and read my books or just watch some videos. This is killing me.

I pray this stupid bout of sickness does NOT screw up my interview on Thursday. I really want to get the placement, it'll be another step closer to my dreams. Okay, I know at times I aim too high, but what's the use of aiming if you don't aim for the stars?

Screw this tummyache. Here goes my trip to the toilet....again.

2010-04-27T00:33:00.000+08:00

Don't take the ones you love for granted.

busy busy bumblebee

2010-04-24T13:32:00.003+08:00

We are only as big as our dreams.

Just came back from giving a talk to parents regarding university admissions at Anderson JC, and now I'm left with barely three hours to study my marketing before I dash off again for the NYAA Eco-concert!

And then tomorrow will be Star Awards. WOOHOO! I can't wait! Haven't been to Sentosa ever since it revamped itself man! Tomorrow will be the first time I step foot into Resorts World Sentosa!

On top of that I still have to keep planning Love for a Dollar. I really hope we can make it a reality this year, because considering how late we're starting, we might have lost all chance already. I blame my hectic school life this semester for the delay. RAWR! okay my fault also for not being able to juggle 1000000000x things well lah. Can't wait till the end of exams, then I can really pamper myself well and go OVERSEAS muahaha not one time but TWICE!

Busy busy busy bumblebee! At least being busy helps me to keep my mind off missing the boy. This will probably be my tactic to get through exchange without flying home halfway coz I miss him too much! Good starting strategy eh :D

COME ON EXAMS GIVE ME A BREAK.

Airplanes lyrics

2010-04-22T23:46:00.001+08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

Maturity doesn't come with age

2010-04-21T10:34:00.003+08:00

and I wonder what we would have become, if none of this happened at all.

Why do we both go on avoiding each other when we both still want this friendship? Maybe because the awkwardness is too much to bear. But if I can get past it, why can't you?

I guess as what K said, you're not that mature after all, despite your age.

Hurhmmm.

a year in hall

2010-04-19T23:58:00.001+08:00

Looking back, it seems surprising how a whole year has passed us by. Without realizing it, a year worth of university will be coming to an end soon, and in 10 days, I'll be moving out of hall.

I'm really gonna miss staying with my roomie. Staying with someone who isn't family has made me realize that by staying together, you really need to give and take at times. It has been a blast staying in hall this whole year, with my awesome buddy right downstairs to talk to anytime I feel like it and for all the late nights spent doing assignments when my roomie is already asleep...having a good friend in the room to come back to and have a heart-to-heart talk at the end of the day...

It's a pity we still don't know what next semester holds, but I'm crossing my fingers tight that my roomie gets to stay and we'll get to be roomies once more :)

2010-04-12T08:13:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ctfNh0j9OI

"Need you now" by Lady Antebellum.

Not that it reflects in any way my mood exactly, coz I'm happily in love with an awesome boy who has been with me through the past 21 months with total commitment and with as much, or even more, love than we started out with and developed along the way.

But I guess if you take the romantic love part out of the song, the lyrics pretty much reflect the way I miss a lot of my old friends, some of whom I've lost touch with, some whose busy schedules allow us little (or none at all) time to meet, and of course, there are those like C and J* who used to be good friends of mine, but now we're hardly on speaking terms?

I wonder why.

But awkwardness is a facet of life and I guess that once friendships start to cross the line and awkwardness comes into play, it really does become quite weird. Only the stronger friendships will make it through such a test.

I guess ours just wasn't strong enough.

Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.

I wonder how you're coping?

2010-04-10T21:51:00.002+08:00

I wonder how you're coping? A part of me wishes to reach out and comfort you, but I'm staying away for both of our own good. You're so emotionally shaken now that if I were to approach you, it might further complicate things and then we'll truly, never speak again. I don't want to make this any more awkward than it already is.

But even though we're hardly friends anymore, I still hope that you'll pick yourself up again soon, and know that if you ever need a listening ear during this period of hardship, I'll be more than willing to lend you one, just like how you lent me yours during that time when I truly needed a friend.

Be strong.

On judging, self-disclosures and C

2010-04-10T00:23:00.002+08:00

Do higher levels of self-disclosure lead to greater intimacy?

As a communications student, that is a question I commonly encounter in my various texts, whether it be an introductory course to the subject or a research module on communications itself.

Although the amount of research available on this question right now is insufficient to accurately draw conclusions, I feel that yes, the more we reveal about ourselves, the closer we become to others.

But it is not always easy to open up, especially when you've been through a history of being hurt before because you opened up to...the wrong people, perhaps? People who use these information against you and make you writhe in emotional pain and agony.

Reflecting back on the friendships forged at the beginning and how these friendships stand now, I can only say that it is no one's fault, but yet it is also everyone's fault. Maybe our only fault lies in being too busy that we do not have the time to work on these friendships anymore.

Or maybe it is because, if you judge me, then you'll never know me.

I really miss my friend, C. Not that he'll ever read this, but he was truly a good friend to me. His support at one of my most emotionally rocky times this semester really helped, and I'm really sorry about how we've lost this friendship. I don't even know who screwed up. But maybe it'll be better for both of us to leave this aside and leave this behind us.

And I really appreciate my buddy, K, for being there for me throughout everything and giving me advice from a guy's perspective. Your support is much appreciated.

I think at the end of the day, we should all really take some time off to reflect on all these relationships in our lives and ask ourselves: have we let our judgments of someone stand in the way of us truly knowing the person? Have we been wrong?

Just because she's different, doesn't mean she's weird. Thanks, J, for showing me that during our talk. I'm glad I didn't judge like the rest did, because otherwise I wouldn't have known her for who she is.

No life!

2010-04-02T00:57:00.002+08:00

I haven't lived at all this semester, what with the endless flurry of activities/work that I always seem to have.

First was cheerleading, then dance, then the band competition, followed by a mad rush of assignments as deadlines rolled closer, then came ADdiction duties and now preparation for my work in the summer holidays, the Nanyang Scholars orientation camp and Hall FOC camp. Not that I want to prepare now, but I don't have a chance because the world isn't going to wait for me to finish my exams before they start preparing for the major event in August.

That, on top of my tuition commitments.

On one hand I feel glad that I'm helming most committees, or at least holding a significant post, but on the other hand I can feel my life seeping out from me as time passes by.

Kenneth calls me a workaholic.

I think he's right.

Niceness goes under-appreciated

2010-03-16T01:19:00.001+08:00

Niceness is too under-appreciated in our society.

Doing nice things for people on their birthday only makes you sadder on your birthday when you find that these people couldn't even remember your birthday, much less do something for you.

Makes me wonder why I bother doing all these little things for people, really.

Oh well.

New Media Ambassador Quest

2010-03-09T07:29:00.004+08:00

Social media is truly amazing, and breaking more boundaries each and every day.

In my school, we learn all about the various forms of media, from the traditional to the new. We've been shown the various perks and downsides to each media type, but personally, I prefer new media for its wide reach and endless possibilities.

Traditional media comes with far too many limitations and too little choices for us to make. Sure enough, nothing beats reading a newspaper from a real broadsheet spread, and nothing beats watching shows on your television without slow streaming and time lags, but honestly? For almost everything else, there's the Internet :)

Heard about a really cool contest recently: Scape's New Media Ambassador Quest. Suddenly I'm reminded of my pageant days and all the fun I had during then. Ever since I entered university, I've hardly done any modelling because of my lack of time. But this seems like another good avenue to resume from where I left off, and even better, Phase 2 of judging falls right after my exams! :D Here's to something that I can perhaps immerse myself in during the summer holidays!

I'll probably sign up, and if any of you are interested too, do visit http://www.360withoutborders.com/nmaquest/adventure.aspx for more information :) Join me if you're keen!

In due time this will all be forgotten

2010-03-02T11:57:00.000+08:00

Thoughts to 3 random groups of people:

1) In due time you'll cease to be a part of my life; covered with a layer of dust which only time can put to rest. But in the meantime, while we're still living in the present right now, it still hurts. For a good part of my school years here I'll always be thinking about how we came so close to becoming such good friends but losing it because I, you, who? messed up.

2) Yesterday made me realize how much I've missed my good friends from last semester. Being so caught up in hall life has made me miss out on a good part of what school life really is about. Can we all go back to what we were last semester?

3) I'm thankful for my buddy, who despite irritating me to no end at times, really knows how to make me laugh when I'm in dire need of one. And of course, there's the obvious fact that you're such an amazing listener and secret-keeper whom I know I can always trust and rely on. This week has been a hell week for me to get through, and I'n really glad you've been here for me all this while.

2010-03-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

I feign innocence but deep inside, I really miss you.

someone tell me what to do

2010-02-28T00:16:00.001+08:00

Someone tell me what to do.

For listening to me when I was emo-ing over dance

2010-02-26T11:45:00.002+08:00

I really appreciate everyone who has been lending me your ears these past few days as I try to come to terms with the fact that the judges didn't appreciate our dance despite it being such a spectacular performance.

Thank you buddy, who spent i-dunno-how-many-hours-of- your time listening to my woes and keeping me company when the silence was too much to bear. Thank you Edmund, for not listening but still making me laugh anyway from your comments and nonsensical rambling during supper. I was surprised you remembered our supper appointment even though it was arranged such a long time ago. Thank you roomie, for basically just being there and lending me your ears. Thank you Nicole, for that late night (until morning) where we sang karaoke and just poured our hearts out to each other.

And thank you to Chris, Fiona Tan and Chun Boon, for listening to me rant. I'm sorry I wasn't much of company the past few days be it online/offline, but thank you anyway for what you've done.

But despite this, I still feel indignant and angry. I still feel hollow knowing that we didn't get what we deserved to get. What I really need is a hug right now, but my poor boyf is stuck in camp and I guess I'll just have to make do with my little teddies right now.

And I'll try to get over it.

Someone like you

2010-02-26T03:22:00.003+08:00

Where else can I find someone who wakes up beside me in the morning and says to me: "I feel that I'm the luckiest guy on earth" and calls me beautiful when my hair is all in a mess, my skin barefaced from the lack of makeup and sleep wrinkles on my skin?

I miss you so much I wish I could run to you and hold you tight and never let go. Right here, right now.

it could all be a mask

2010-02-26T03:06:00.001+08:00

That's all it'll be

2010-02-26T01:11:00.004+08:00

I don't want to make this more complicated than it already is.

You're a good friend, and I treasure your companionship, but that's all it really means to me. I hope you understand, and won't let anything change what we already have between us right now, because I don't want to lose you as a friend.

------------------------------------

On another note, I still think we were more deserving than the final ranking which they placed us under. Everyone is telling me "it's okay, it's over", but to me it isn't over. Life as a dancer doesn't end just because a competition is over; dance never comes to an end.

My priority, your option

2010-02-17T13:30:00.002+08:00

Don't make people a priority if they only make you an option.

I always end up hurting myself. What for? It's not even worth it.

Can't wait to meet Cheryl this weekend. At least that's one friend who has never disappointed me through the years.

Best friends

2010-02-09T19:14:00.002+08:00

I feel kind of sad that my best friend in hall won't be around next semester onwards.

No longer BFFs this semester?

2010-02-02T11:11:00.003+08:00

Being high-profile can sometimes be a curse in disguise.

It's February and I still haven't started studying. And won't be able to start until dance IHG is over. I'm seriously screwing up my academic life over hall activities. People look on the surface, see what I've achieved and always say that I balance my priorities well. But I don't feel that way. I feel like I'm screwing up.

Last night my buddy asked me, "Who's your best friend?" When I told him it was someone living in Australia, he gave me a quizzical look and asked what happened to the girl whom he saw once on Skype and thought was my best friend.

I never realized it until he pointed it out.

We seem to have drifted apart this semester. What happened?

Updates- MFM and Cheerleading

2010-01-31T02:04:00.002+08:00

I have tons of photos not uploaded that they span from 25 December 2009 to now. Bad bad bad.

The Mega Flea Market was a success and I wanna thank everyone who came down to support the event. This certainly marks the one of our most successful accounts to date and it has been a pleasure working on it (although the late night and stress was not at all fun). It also opens more new doors for us to try out newer stuffs and expose ourselves to other types of accounts out there!

Cheerleading also went well and I'm thinking of joining back next semester to learn how to fly. Dance practice is still in its intensive stage and it won't ease up until the competition is over so my busy days aren't over yet!

I really need to study. Bad bad bad.

Will update again another time.

2010-01-24T11:39:00.001+08:00

Thank you K and E, for being such amazing friends in your own right.

Too much of a perfectionist

2010-01-19T10:30:00.002+08:00

I am way too much of a perfectionist.

So many things undone; so many things I want to do. 24 hours a day is simply not enough, especially when you're living a life in hall- things just keep popping up.

I'm kind of looking forward to the finisher of the flea market on Sunday. At least then I get to breathe again when all the flurry with the media outlets ends.

I still want to write, sing, dance, spend time with friends, watch GG and FF, work on our advertising accounts, do my homework, teach tuition AND still have time for the boy.

It's taking a toll on me, but I'll find a way to live through this! I did it last semester, so I can do it again.

Mega Flea Market

2010-01-18T17:18:00.003+08:00

HEY GUYS!

Attention to all shoppers! There's gonna be a Mega Flea Market this weekend (22nd Jan Friday to Sunday) at Singapore Expo. It's touted to be the LARGEST flea market in Singapore, and is held in a fully air-conditioned setting for you to shop comfortably and BEAT THE HEAT! There will be hundreds of stalls carting their goodies for sale so do come down to do some shopping for Vday/CNY okay! :)

I'm so excited! The past few weeks have been really hectic and crazily busy because we've been writing all the press releases, media invites and media letters as well as sending them out to the various press agencies! We've been successfully featured a couple of times already on The New Paper (check the FB group for details!)!

This weekend will be CRAZILY hectic for me! We'll be going down to Mediacorp for a radio interview, Urban and Straits Times will be featuring us this Friday as well so it's SUPER DUPER exciting!!!

I really love being a part of this advertising agency, joining it was the best decision I've ever made ever since coming to WKW. Even though the work kills at times, the reward at the end of the day is priceless :)

Will be down on Saturday as media personnel so do come down to do some shopping if you're interested k! :) More details on the Facebook event page or you can simply ask me directly!

Get it right

2010-01-13T21:08:00.002+08:00

I'm not getting anything I want on STARS :(

You know, at times I still wish I truly belonged somewhere. In a group of friends whom I really can call exclusively mine. I used to think that having many groups of friends beats having just one, but now I realize it's the number of people you can count on that matters the most.

Not the number of people you can count.

But after having the talk, I think maybe, once again, I care too much for all the wrong people.

I need to get my priorities right.

themed photos

2010-01-10T14:42:00.003+08:00

I'm so inspired after reading this particular book (I borrowed) from my beloved boyf that I've officially gotten back my love for photography of the little things in life! And regained the love for themed albums and going out on photoshoots shooting things that we always miss seeing.

Leaving a note here about the themed albums I'm gonna shoot as soon as I get the chance too :) luckily for me I have my camera in hall!

-secrets

-childhood days

Thoughts on 2009

2010-01-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

In a flash, 2009 has come and gone.

I remember stepping out from 2008, fresh and uncertain of what the future would hold. At that point in time, my primary concern was to 1) find myself a job to tide myself over the next 6 months before university and 2) stop myself from worrying incessantly about the impending 'A' level results. Well, things went well, and 2009 was a year full of good things and bad alike. My worries for my 'A' level results were unfounded, for I did exceedingly well beyond my wildest imagination with 7 As (I remember waking up for weeks after and still be in disbelief over my score) and landed myself one of the most prestigious local scholarships in Singapore. My job went well too, I was extremely lucky to meet a very nice boss who taught me valuable lessons into the media and PR industry.

I got to live my dreams, every single one of them- acting (with my little stint in Crimewatch on national television), singing (as a vocalist for the hall band), dancing (as a member of hall dance) and even modelling. I earned my own keep, I worked myself to the bone teaching a combined total of 9 students, I started shopping and buying more for myself rather than for others, and I finally relented in getting my first mp3 and personal camera, things that I've yearned for for ages but never had the heart to purchase because of my family's financial straits.

And there were the friendships in 2009. The hundreds of new people I met upon entering university, be it my OG mates from Bocelli, Juno or Draco from school, NYS and hall respectively. There were also the other friendships that became stained with time as people move on and drift away. I admit many a friendship waned because of the lack of time I could commit on my side, and I sincerely apologize for that. Many a good new friend made, and many good old ones lost. For that, I regret, but hope that our friendships still remain despite our lack of commitment to each other.

There was also love. The start of the quarrels with the boy and the flowing of the tears. That painful week when I thought for sure that he didn't love me anymore because there wasn't even an inch of effort to remain in contact on his part. The ironing out of our differences and adjustment to each other's different lifestyles and schedules. The numerous hugs and the easy way in which we always seemed to resolve our differences so quickly. The appreciation for all the times we were angry with each other but never once lost our cool, respecting one another and not yelling at all but instead talked things out reasonably. Trying to merge our singular lives into one. And still trying.

Now the year has come and gone, and once again it is the dawn of a new year, a new beginning. 2010, with new challenges and unknown certainties waiting ahead for me. I try to remember everything but then again, try to remember less so that I can move ahead. Letting myself embrace the future instead of remaining so tied to the past. Opening the door to new people and letting old ones out. I don't know what will happen this year nor can I prevent the bad things from happening, but I know that as long as I remain true to myself, and be the girl I've always been and always wanted to be, things will eventually work themselves out.

They always do.

December updates!

2009-12-21T15:49:00.003+08:00

December has been really fun! And in a blink of eye it's soon going to be all over and then school will be commencing once more :( I know I haven't been blogging much but that's because I've been going places to places that I hardly have time to do a proper post! So I'll now do a summary post of what's been going on (for those that I can remember!)

Some stuffs that I remember would be the Fahrenheit showcase, a last minute event because Joyce was nice enough to invite me as she won an extra ticket to the show! Went for that with Rina and Michelle. Oooh and of course there was what took place for my birthday! Draco (tried to) plan a birthday surprise outing (which didn't go successfully) but we had lots of fun sitting around htht-ing and basically just hanging out. The best surprise came from the NATurals though, who sprung a surprise on me at Astons right before the Marc Jacobs event! Their presents are my favourite for this year :D so princessy and girly, they really know me inside out!

lovely birthday surprise from the NATurals girls!
strawberry plucking from our Genting trip, and many other photos up on facebook...

the Fahrenheit showcase!

18 Dec was supposed to be Contract Bridge IHG, but because I wasn't really needed there, I left halfway to spring a surprise presence for our Draco outing :) finally, a successful OG outing! I met up with Yulun first to go buy kites + htht the whole time. We spent our time at Marina Barrage flying kites and having a potluck picnic- the food was wayy better than if we had eaten outside! I especially loved Jessica's seaweed jap chicken. Heh, and my kite flew the highest! After that we went to Timbre for good food and good music and we all shared a bucket of beer! hahaha even though I got back REALLY late to hall, the company was awesome and I thoroughly enjoyed myself :)

Kboxing!

20 Dec was seen spending with the NATurals at Snow City as we celebrated a (literally) white Christmas with our beloved Nat! We made our own DIY ice-cream and had a lot of fun sliding around in the snow...our group came in first for games! Heh. Took lots of photos as well and the day passed by in a flash because I was enjoying myself so much with the great company of all the NATurals. Much love especially to Yunjia Olivia and Rina who were in my team with me! :)

The day before, on 19 Dec, was Elvin's gathering + our traditional PALSIIWJAE (post A levels screw it it was just an exam- if I rmb the name correctly!) and I was really very tired because I slept at 5am the night before after finally finishing my laundry! I met really cool friends like Linda Kelly and Jazz at the gathering, plus the food was reallllly awesome! It was really ulu though, the party was held in Jurong Island!

This week has also been filled with competitions, trainings and lots of dance practices! There was the picnic with some of the NATurals on Christmas, which included gift exchange and kite flying, and also a day trip to JB and many more! Ooh and I just did an interview with a local newspaper a few days ago so watch out for that next year! :) Next week's gonna see the countdown party at Marina, fetching my friend who will be coming back from her exchange and a few other outings squeezed in between! Will update next time!

Thought of the day: When people get thrown into leadership positions, sometimes you find that they change. The sweet girl you knew now only contacts you for work-related stuff. The boy next door suddenly greets you in a formal business tone. People move on and people forget. Is that how life works...or not? And there I thought Christmas was a time for rememberance and a good chance for catching up.

Gossip girl

2009-12-16T12:26:00.002+08:00

I totally dig Gossip Girl.

And nice awesome friends like Bocelli who celebrate your birthday with you!

Birthday thoughts from a 19-year-old

2009-12-11T01:17:00.000+08:00

24 hours, the first step I take into becoming nineteen, and in these 24 hours alone, I’ve come to discover so much. I’ve learnt that sometimes what you make of friends may not really be the case, because the ones you think would forget may well turn out to be the ones who remember the clearest instead. And the ones whom you thought (and expected) to remember, end up being the ones who forgot in the end.

I saw the Orion belt on my way home, and for that moment, I stopped to admire its beauty and reflect on how this entire day has gone. I’ve had to handle quite a number of disappointments throughout the day, yet at the same time, I discovered a gem in a few of my friends. I guess this is the harsh part of how you really have to give and take at times.

The best things in life really do come in the smallest (and most surprising) forms. This year held significant difference from my past 2 years of my birthday. I remember all the truckloads of presents that I received in those years, and having to force myself to restrain the urge to tear apart the wrapping and open up the presents immediately…until the clock struck 12. And I remember how on 10^th December itself, those years that were not too long ago, my phone would ALWAYS be flooded with birthday texts all day long, such that I learnt to charge my phone till the battery was full the night before.

But yet this year, it was so very different. I spent much of the day travelling, didn’t get to eat both breakfast and lunch, had to rush and stand under the sweltering hot sun waiting for a taxi to take me back to hall for rehearsal, and largely just sitting around talking. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way. The company I had tonight was great, and I wouldn’t have changed it even if I could choose to do it my way for a second time.

It wasn’t the number of presents that mattered, it was more of the number of people who remembered this time round. My birthday wish (not the one you make on the cake/candle) this year was simple: to have the ones whom I hoped (and expected) to remember, remember; and to get a birthday call from my boyfriend on the day itself. It wasn’t too much to ask for, was it? But disappointingly enough, I didn’t get any of my wishes.

I know my boyfriend was busy, and he really wanted to be here with me but could not, against his wishes, so that I understand. I know that some may have been caught up in other stuffs so they may have forgotten, so those, I will not think of. But what about the rest? My friends in the cliques I thought would remember?

In the beginning, I was angry, hurt, and disappointed all at the same time. I thought to myself that having taken so much effort for each birthday for my friends, was it really so much to ask for just to have them remember me in return? But apparently it was so. I guess to these friends I thought were true, I don’t matter as much. Maybe I’m not even important. But then I realized that hey, I don’t have to be so pessimistic, and ought to give thanks to the ones who remembered instead.

So for the bottom of my heart, I sincerely thank each and every one of you who wished me during these 24 hours itself. I want to especially thank those who handmade/wrote wishes for me, the ones who made an effort to text/call me, and the ones who spent the day with me.

Really, at the end of the day, it is not the expensive gifts that will blow me away. What means the most to me, are the handmade/hand-written cards and these birthday SMSes. Facebook messages are easy to give, and even random friends whom you’ve not even remotely close to can wish you (the ones who happen to see the birthday reminder on Facebook at the right side of our pages), but who are the ones who truly make an effort to text you and wish you, just so you’ll receive and see it on your birthday itself, and smile to yourself as you read it and feel remembered once more? Expensive presents like branded wallets and bags get thrown away after they’ve been used and worn out, but presents like handmade cards get kept for years and years. I still keep every single birthday card I’ve ever received for the past 19 years.

What means the most to me, is not the money spent on the gift, but the effort to remember and the gesture. It isn’t about how the party/celebration turned out, but more of the company and the effort spent in trying to organize it. What matters most in life, isn’t the tangible and material gifts that money can so easily buy, but it is the intangible, simplest act of all- remembering, and showing it.

Now that these 24 hours are over, I guess my special day has come to an official end. And for all those who remembered to wish me, I thank you once again for making this birthday a little more special. For those who forgot, well, I guess there’s nothing to say really, but then again, I have to thank you too, because you opened up my eyes and made me treasure even more the ones who remembered.

Some of these special mentions include:

1) The ones who trooped up to my room in hall at 12midnight on the dot just to wish me a happy birthday, and to keep me from feeling lonely in that huge room- Edmund, Chun Boon, Abbas, Justin, Marcus

2) The ones who sang with me all the way till 2.30am in the morning. Singing has and always will be one of my greatest loves, and having you guys there jamming with me made me a happy girl when I finally climbed into bed- Cornelius and Oxy.

3) The ones who called to wish me- Zuohan, Yulun and my dearest boyfriend, although the last two were too early :P

4) My lovely amazing friends who spent the day with me- Edmund, Yulun, Nicole, Jacqueline, Chris and my dearest buddy Kah Sing!

5) My wonderful friends from primary/secondary/JC whom I haven’t seen in quite a while but yet still remember my birthday, even after so long- Cheryl, Cara, Keet Yeng, Hanwei, Gerald, Zhenyang, Melody, Joyce Stella, Elaine, Wan Lin, Noeleen (phs), Melissa, Samantha (Kok), Aida, Kai Xia, Wei Heng. (I hope I didn’t miss anyone out! My deepest apologies if I have PLEASE TELL ME OKAY!)

6) The two who bought my cake to surprise me right in the middle of Othello training- Jenard and Der Koon.

7) All those who left me birthday greetings on my facebook. Thank you for taking those few seconds of your time to post on my profile/send me a birthday message!

And some specially dedicated messages to a few of the more special ones (in alphabetical order):

Anna- I love you sis, you’re the bestest friend I could ever have and could ever ask for. It amazes me that after so long, we’re still this close and still going strong. And there’s a kind of beauty in that we can go AGES without talking when we’re both so busy and caught up in school/life, but yet when the important dates come, we never fail to remember every single one of them. And I feel so safe in the knowledge that if anything bad happens, I’ll always have you there to rely on and to give me strength. I’m eagerly anticipating your birthday package, flown all the way from your place to mine, and I hope you love the little gifts I’ve put in your birthday package too. I love you, and a thousand/million “I love you”s would never be enough in this lifetime for you, my amazing sister, my most amazing friend ever.

Cheryl- My best friend then and always, I know we seldom get to meet/speak these days ever since we said our goodbyes at graduation, but I love how every single year without fail, you ALWAYS send me your super-duper long, sister-mushy-touchy message that never fails to put a smile on my face when I see it (even though you always send at the most ungodly hours!)

Chris- What can I say? I wasn’t expecting you to be one of the few who would spend my birthday with me, but I am glad you were there. You have to display to me your talent one day, OUT WITH IT DUDE! Haha. Thank you for your time, your presence, and for your everything, even though we hardly see each other around (once you figure out this mystery of why fellow block mates do not see each other, let me know k). THANK YOU!

Edmund- Hey I’m so sorry I didn’t make it back in time to catch you before you left! Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, you awesome fellow CGL, for coming to my room so I wouldn’t feel lonely, for your (kind of failed) attempts (hey I have to be honest!) to play me birthday songs off Youtube, and for your really hilarious gesture of walking out of my room when the clock was approaching 12 and coming in on the dot to wish me. You totally cracked me up, and started off my birthday with a huge laugh. THANK YOU!

Fiona Tan- Thank you for sending me that birthday song via sms! You totally took me by surprise! As for the rest, I think I’ve said it all in my texts to you J

Jacqueline- Hey babe! Thank you for your invitation to Zouk, even though I didn’t take it up in the end, just so that I wouldn’t have to spend my birthday alone (which I didn’t in the end!). Your intentions are much appreciated and thank you for coming all the way from hall to town and back to hall again, just so you could make my birthday a little more special in your own contribution of your presence.

Jenard- my most awesome roomie, I LOVE YOU BLUEBERRY! I really wished that you could have stayed the night with me, but you know what? You took my breath away with your little “birthday trail” in our room, you sneaky little berry :P I was really surprised! And the cake you bought with Derkoon! THANK YOU! It was the only cake I got to eat at all, and it was the most delicious thing ever. Plus, bet you didn’t know you gave me my most treasured gift this year with your handmade card. I’m really glad we’re in this together. Cheers to awesome roomie love!

Jin- thank you for trying to organize a birthday celebration for us, even though it didn’t work out in the end, but I really appreciate the effort and I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT! :D

Kah Sing- BUDDY! You’re the best buddy I could ever ask for, seriously. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me ever since university started. For being my friend, for being my most awesome buddy, for all these late nights spent htht-ing. And for being ever so supportive of my “talent” although you’ve never gotten to see me perform before! Having you around truly makes hall life so much better for me, and today, thank you for taking time off to spend with this birthday girl here.

Nicole- I love you girlfriend J I’ve always known you were one of my most-treasured friends in hall/school and what you’ve done today merely goes further to reassert that fact. Thank you so much for all the effort put into organizing and trying to surprise me. Don’t apologize for the failed efforts, because it’s the gesture that counts, and trust me, in this alone, it makes me love you even more.

Yulun- Ahhhh YOU! King of lame jokes and king of disguises. Today was the first time I saw this side of you I never knew- a Yulun who would take time off your (almost) entire day just to spend my birthday with me, even though much of it was spent waiting! I…really don’t know what to say to you. I think my text says it all, truly. You gave me the biggest surprise on my birthday, and dude, you’re a true shining gem. I admire you for how you went so out of your way just to make my birthday a little happier. I wouldn’t have asked for better company. THANK YOU *echos it a million times*

Kenneth- my lovely boyfriend, my sweetest love. Even though we hardly got to talk much today, I still have to thank you for loving me. When I was making my birthday wish, I really didn’t know what to wish for, because I realized that with you, I’ve got everything I could ever need in this life. Because of your amazing love, I have got the whole world in my hands. I never thought I’d find the day where I would run out of things to wish for, but today showed me just that. I love you sweetheart, now and forever, and in this life, as long as I have you with me, there’s nothing else I would ever need.

This was a long note, but well worth my time. I promise to spend my tomorrow replying to each and every one of your birthday greetings that you guys have written on my facebook. In the meantime, goodnight world, and thank you once again to all those who remembered. I sincerely appreciate it.

2009-12-08T20:59:00.001+08:00

and this song I will sing alone.

I'll buy a present for myself

2009-12-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

I doubt anyone will remember.

So I will buy myself something to make myself a little happier at least.

What dreams may come

2009-12-06T00:30:00.004+08:00

Getting to watch one of my all-time favourite films (What Dreams May Come) on the bus trip back from Genting = priceless.

Going on a trip which feels like a honeymoon = memorable.

Being able to enjoy all these small pleasures in life = forever.

Now I want to buy the DVD/VCD of the movie as a birthday gift for myself! But I doubt I'll be able to find it cos it's such an old 1998 film :(

Photos upload another time! Will be sleeping soon to prepare for meeting Kenneth at the finishing line of Standard Chartered marathon tomorrow morning :)

Photo update; double date!

2009-11-29T15:47:00.004+08:00

TOMORROW WILL BE MY LAST DAY OF EXAMS AND I CAN'T WAIT!

I feel so ill-prepared for tomorrow's paper, and it being an open-book exam doesnt seem to help calm my nerves either because this module is too smart for people like me! zzz. But on a brighter note, the past few weeks have been really awesome (doesn't even feel like exams!) and on Tuesday, I'll be heading off to genting! CAN'T WAIT!

Oooh and let me do a little promotion here k!

Do support Love for a Dollar Christmas charity gift-wrapping! Available at the following malls:

-Bukit Panjang Plaza

-Lot 1

-Tampines Mall

-Sembawang Plaza

More details at http://sa-v.blogspot.com/ if you're interested!

I'm overdue on a photo update so I'll make this short and sweet! Lots more photos in my camera but that will come another time when I get back from my trip! :)

Anniversary cooking with the boy to celebrate <3

Photoshoot trip with the boy at Labrador Park!

Awesome NATurals gathering! Another one coming up soon, yay!
And for my hall's Halloween-cum-farewell celebrations, my band and I performed for the last time before Jodee departs for Canada next semester.

On top of singing, I also danced with the rest of the awesome people in cult sect and together with hall dance! yep that's 3 performances! Tiring but VERY REWARDING INDEED hahaha!

Right after the celebrations, I organised the Draco birthday celebrations for buddy, Edmund and Shona!

More photos from the park shoot...

And a veryveryvery long time ago, I met Alex when I was with the rest of the fil230 people at Esplanade NLB doing our research papers.
Geek day at WKW!
Playing ghosts in our hall room. Hahaha! <3 my roomie.
And for yesterday, we went double-dating-cum-photoshooting with Jodee and Ben in town! It was totally awesome :)
Jodee and I at our princessy castle hahaha!

Alright I'm off to finish my fil230 research now! December is gonna be an awesome month ahead, with the only downside being that the boy won't be around for 2 weeks during my birthday period, but ahhhh well!

I love literature!

2009-11-17T17:12:00.003+08:00

I miss the NATurals.

I miss DF.

I miss Bocelli.

I miss stAJe and the coolie-quarters gang.

I miss volunteering at The Salvation Army.

I miss the people in the "ben-nu-ren" clique.

I miss my teddy.

Today I reached a revelation: I LOVE LITERATURE!

I love the way it makes me think.

I love the way it allows me to express my views.

I love the way there's no right/wrong answers.

I love the way I get to read the text in my own interpretation.

I love the way so much is hidden within so little.

Feels like GP, only even better :D

All that I do, I do it for you

2009-11-16T11:27:00.002+08:00

All that I do, I do it for you.

Can you see that?

Can you feel that?

I hide it better

2009-11-15T14:04:00.002+08:00

I hate to say this, but I'm afraid of the impending examinations too.

Everybody thinks being a scholar = perfection but that's not true. We get stressed as well. We all want to be overachievers and have everything going perfectly well too. And on this note, the pressure I give myself gets overwhelming at times. Juggling my community project, hall activities, friendship problems and studies all at once gets too crazy at times.

We just hide our anxiety better.

On another note, I miss our days of laughter, J.

This goes out to both Js, whose messages in my phone I was reading yesterday while clearing my inbox. It reminded me of how happy we used to be as friends and how much we enjoyed each other's company. I hear the voice of J (1) telling me to press on, and the voice of J (2) reminding me of how I "seem to laugh at everything". I remember that happiness.

Where did that all go to? I wonder if it's only me missing our friendship, or if you feel the same way as well.

I'm gonna miss singing with you

2009-11-13T09:47:00.002+08:00

Having you here in hall really makes life awesome.

In the beginning, you thanked me for integrating you in, for giving you a place to belong in- our very own hall band.

Now, I'm thanking you for calling me along on your group dinners, because they add in the much-needed laughter and joy in my dreary November month.

I'm definitely going to miss singing with you. Till your departure, let us treasure every moment we have left together before you leave. And I'm looking forward to next week, where we shall pull all-nighters again.

P.S. Thanks Esther, ZY, buddy, Nicole, Xuefang and my roomie too! You've made this dreary period a little sweeter with your presence and actions too :)

Goodbye J

2009-11-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

I've given up thinking that these friendships can be repaired; that they can go back to what they were before.

Go on and leave me out of your conversations and outings. When I organise, I invite you, but when you're the one organising, you always seem to conveniently "forget" about me. You know what? I don't care for this friendship anymore if this is how you want to be. If you don't care about me and don't make an effort like I do in repairing this friendship, then I don't see why I should be bothered either.

Goodbye J, both of you Js.

I shall just stick to my nice friends Ks :)

we photobooth!

2009-11-05T15:11:00.002+08:00

Picnic under the stars was awesome. Great food, great games and great company <3
Went for my first ever Bocelli supper and it turned out better than I thought! :)
HTHT session-cum-lunch with Jodee was therapeutic. I think I'll really miss the girl when she leaves next sem :(
Spent 2 hours doing my laundry. WASTE OF TIME -.-
Studying with buddy now hopefully that makes me more productive!
Breakfast next week with Nicole and Xuefang! Can't wait.
Draco run next week! Can't wait.
Photoboothing with my roomie at 3am is awesomezzzzzz

Random good stuffs about life!

2009-11-04T01:49:00.003+08:00

Random stuffs:

I really appreciate my roomie, my buddy, Eunice and Nicole for being so "confirming" in our communication climates :) This is in stark contrast to some of my other friends, but right now I shall just focus on the happier side :)
I'm not sure if I really should go for OG supper tomorrow night. I don't want to risk coming back feeling "disconfirmed" again.
Draco's birthday get-together just now was awesome.
My 3 hall performances went well! Lots of people said they loved the items, especially the dances, YAY! :)
Music therapy with Lighthouse never fails to make me feel wonderful.
I'm looking forward to running with Draco tomorrow, even though I'm like the worst runner on earth lol.
My boyfriend and I are closer now and so much sweeter. I love you sweetheart! :)
I think I'm drifting away from the Scotto clique too. But that's okay, because I shall try to put in more effort coz these friends are people worth holding onto; I feel "confirmed" when I'm with them! :)
I'm really looking forward to hall FOC 2010.
I felt really touched that Nicole took pizza for me and passed it to me the moment I finished my final performance. Yay for good friends!
I'm grateful for my close relationship with my roomie.
I'm looking forward to meeting Kenneth on thursday night for dinner :)
My buddy is making me laugh whenever he gets so passionate/obsessed about something.
I'm feeling excited about working together with Edmund for Hall FOC 2010! We've definitely put together an awesome team of CGLs and GLs for Draco.

Right now, I'm happy and appreciative, and loving it :) Things may not be great, but with a couple of great friends around me, I think Life is still awesome :)

Hold on together now

2009-10-30T17:40:00.003+08:00

I will hold onto this because even though I cry over you, you're the only one who can make these tears and pain go away, and the only one whom I'll ever be truly happy with.

Let's hold on tightly together, and make this work a forever.

Give me strength to go on

2009-10-28T19:15:00.004+08:00

I feel like I've spent my whole life waiting.

Constantly checking my phone, waiting for

an SMS or a call, which never comes.

This ring on my finger suddenly seems to have magical powers and is able to make me cry whenever I look at it.

It hurts so bad and I'm tired of waiting, and of crying.

My quiz is tomorrow, for God's sake I need to study the past 3 days have been a complete failure because you're hogging my mind and nothing else can go in. So tonight I will put everything into my dance, and try my best to put it to rest.

Give me strength to go on.

Don't let it happen to us

2009-10-25T11:02:00.003+08:00

Last night I dreamt that I was dancing.

It felt so liberating to be free.

It was almost as though I could dance away all the negative energy accumulated over the past few weeks.

I really hate conflict.

I hate cold wars.

You know what happened to my parents; please, don't let it happen to us?

Remember when we used to be happy. It shouldn't be a past tense; happiness should be in our present and future as well.

I love you and I want us to be happy.

Can we?

Go on and leave me out

2009-10-24T14:22:00.003+08:00

Go on and leave me out.

Bocelli feels like a group of people closely-knit together who go out on study outings and suppers but I'm not included, Draco hasn't been meeting up much, something happened to buddy but I don't know what.

At least yesterday's flyer outing with the coolies made me feel better. At least there, I know I'm a part of them.

Standing on the outside

2009-10-22T17:55:00.002+08:00

Filming this morning was awesome! Hot, humid and tiring, but overall a wonderful experience. It was held at Pedro's house! What a coincidence right.

Definition of a clique- a group of kids who hang out together and won't let others join in.

I somehow feel like Bocelli is a clique and I'm the outsider.

This is what it feels like to be invisible.

Make a wish on the shooting stars

2009-10-22T03:08:00.003+08:00

I SAW A SHOOTING STAR! FIRST TIME EVER! and yes I made a wish!
good food, good company
Orion
2 hours of waiting WHICH WAS WORTH IT
discussion about the awesome show "500 Days of Summer"
jokes and laughter nonstop.

Thanks Nicole, YL, Char, ZH, Alan and Edwin.

You guys really made this my best night ever since I entered uni.

I don't even feel disheartened that Bocelli was having a gathering too at ADM and didn't ask me along. It could have been a horrible night, but I came back happier than I've been in a long time.

Thanks for making this wonderful.

If you had stopped by, you would have seen me

2009-10-20T16:41:00.002+08:00

If you could stop and turn around, you would have seen me tagging behind.
If for one moment u are willing to care for the people around you, can I be one of them?
If you could have spared more time to talk to me, I could have told u everything.
But do you even care?

Each and every time, what looks to be a promising friendship turns out to be another disappointment.

(edited and taken from a friend's blog)

I have to agree with ZY on this, maybe the friendships you form in university are really just superficial ones.

Liar liar pants on fire

2009-10-19T08:33:00.000+08:00

You're all liars.

Nothing less.

Size 4 too fat?

2009-10-17T19:27:00.002+08:00

If size 4 is "too fat", then where does that leave the rest of us?

Come on, get real, Ralph Lauren, get a life.

There's so much more to living than being skin and bones.

The world is cold, unfriendly and uncaring

2009-10-09T21:36:00.004+08:00

The world is cold, unfriendly and uncaring.

I need you here, now.

But it's just me, myself and I here to bear with this crap.

What friends?

2009-10-09T20:27:00.001+08:00

Last night was one of my worst nights in hall.

I really hate breaking down. And it gets so much harder when you've to keep up a strong and cheerful front when in fact nothing is okay at all.

They see your tears, they hear your cries, but no one comes, no one cares.

Friends.

What friends?

Problems always seem to multiply when you're the only one left to deal with it on your own.

Just because someone is always smiling and laughing doesn't mean she's always that upbeat. If you look beneath the smile, sometimes you'll realise the person is really just struggling to convince herself that life is good when it really isn't at all.

What crowd?

2009-10-08T19:03:00.003+08:00

What crowd?

There was no crowd to begin with.

A sea of familiar faces does not necessarily constitute friends.

It's only me.

I've been alone here all along.

And the silence is deafening.

University life may be enriching, but it is during times like this when I really do wish I was back in JC. At least there, I knew there was somewhere I belonged. At least during then, I knew there would always be people around.

Here, I don't feel like I belong anywhere.

disconnected

2009-10-07T10:32:00.000+08:00

In pain.

Alone in the crowd.

Disconnected.

World's best buddy!

2009-10-06T01:36:00.002+08:00

I have the world's BEST BUDDY!

He keeps me company when I'm feeling lonely in hall, offers me milk and food during our nightly hangouts, goes out on movie outings with me, eats meals with me, and is always there for me to talk to about anything and everything when I'm happy or sad!

But the BEST part about my buddy is that he takes good care of me when I'm sick! By giving me his medicine and letting me eat his (expensive) HEALING Manuka honey! Yay! :)

Okay and his roomie is REALLY NICE TOO! Right, ZY!

Life has been good!

2009-10-05T15:48:00.002+08:00

Life has been good!

School has been good so far- I've done well in my speeches and today my tutor told me I topped the class for COM204 journalistic article yay! All my recess week homework has been completed and I'm well on target for my remaining assignments :)

And spending quality time with the boy, hanging out with buddy and ZY, catching up on lost sleep during the holiday week, bonding with my parents, etc..things are looking good right now and I LIKE! heh.

The only downside is that I'm falling sick again, but I'm gonna try and stay upbeat! Can't wait for mid-autumn celebrations next week, I'm looking forward to being emcee again :)

kbox was a blast!

2009-10-01T01:35:00.003+08:00

Kbox on Tuesday was a blast! We had fun playing around in the room, singing from rocker-punk voice to emo-kid songs to teddy bear voices in Auld Lang Syne! :) I really enjoyed myself and the occasion really gave me a good and well-deserved break from my mountaineous homework load. Yay to good singing in good company! :) Videos are up on facebook, I'm too lazy to upload here :P

Now back to homework! Recess week is hardly even a break for me, what with the 6 assignments that I have to complete. BOO!

Eh and WHERE'S MY BUDDY :( I need jokes from the monkey to keep me entertained man! And it feels like so long since we last held hall band jamming sessions. Not to mention all the htht-sessions in my buddy's room with his very nice roomie! And my poor teddy is sitting all alone on my roomie's bed LONELY IN HALL. I miss hall life :(

Homework homework I WILL COMPLETE YOU.

Kenneth's really sweet FB status

2009-09-29T11:40:00.002+08:00

My boyf is the sweetest thing ever. Look at his latest status:

Kenneth Lin

's still loving you, like it was the first time.

Questions

2009-09-26T14:44:00.002+08:00

Woke up this morning from a dream with questions looming in my head.

I yearn, and long so much, to find the answer to this question that has been haunting me for the past 4 years.

But I'm afraid that doing so would hurt the one I love.

Yet if finding out finally puts my heart at ease, then wouldn't it be so much easier to let go?

The past two weeks.

2009-09-24T14:49:00.003+08:00

Life has been hectic, fun and yet stressful throughout the past two weeks.

With the insanity of the quizzes that we had to mug for (and on which I did REALLY badly on, but heck), I'm grateful for some little things in life to keep me sane amidst the craziness.

And I'm also loving hall band practices more and more by the session. Yesterday was AWESOME- we managed to do a very nice blend of everyone's voices in a particular song which we all (randomly) decided on (and like very much!).

Thanks also to everyone who expressed concern over my emo posts and status(es) online lately. It makes me feel better to know there are people who care, although the numbers were few. This has shown me that really, in life it's not the number of friends you can count but the number of friends you can count on.

Of course, I'm sorely disappointed in that one friend whom I thought I really had a connection with. Well I guess your lack of effort and my pride in the end killed this friendship, for which I have nothing else to say about.

Heading off for hall badminton and swimming now. I'm very much looking forward to returning to hall dance again in two weeks time :)

For a "happy anniversary" that never came

2009-09-19T20:52:00.000+08:00

It slipped your mind;
you forgot;
I know you were busy.

I've been remembering this for a whole week;
waiting for the day to roll around;
texted you in the morning to tell you that I loved you;
and wished you a happy anniversary.

I wish you had called me back;
spared me 5 minutes off your schedule;
to tell me that you loved me too
on this special occasion that marks our togetherness.

But you were too busy
and forgotten all about
your lonely girlfriend
all alone on a cold Friday
wishing and waiting
for a "happy anniversary"
that never came.

Now it doesn't even feel half as special as it should have been, anymore.

The past belongs to the past

2009-09-14T15:08:00.005+08:00

The past shapes the present, which then leads to the future.

These 3 concepts come in pairs.

So once you bring your past into the present, that is when you destroy your future single-handedly, because now, your past becomes the present, and your present becomes your future. If you want something from your present now to go into your future, then don't bring something from the past that will destroy it, because then you risk losing your future.

Some things are meant to stay buried in the past forever.

Some pasts can't be left behind

2009-09-13T13:29:00.002+08:00

Just because you choose to ignore your past doesn't mean I'm numb to its existence.

And when you bring fragments of your past into the present despite knowing that it will hurt me, that's when the dead silence takes over.

What happened to us?

2009-09-09T23:09:00.002+08:00

Friends you were previously so close to, whom you could talk hours with in their rooms without ever having the conversation coming to a standstill; now they're gone. One minute you were potential buddies-for-life, and all of a sudden you feel like strangers. And as I look at them I start to wonder, what happened to us?

It used to be that my hall OG mates were always there, that we could talk nine to the dozen all night long, whereas my roomie was always disappearing off somewhere without me around. Yet now as the distance between my roomie and I becomes smaller, the disconnection between my hall OG mates and I grow greater.

I wonder who my real friends really are.

HTHT before we sleep

2009-09-09T10:13:00.005+08:00

In the dark of the night, without ever seeing each other and yet confiding our deepest secrets as we slowly drift off to sleep...these are the little things that makes living with a good friend totally awesome.

hall band rocks!

2009-09-08T03:12:00.001+08:00

Hall band is frigging AWESOME and MIND-BLOWING.

'Nuff said.

High and then low

2009-09-02T21:28:00.001+08:00

It's funny how life can put you on a pedestral for one moment, and then pummet you down into an emotional abyss the next.

a beautiful poem

2009-09-01T10:31:00.000+08:00

because things like these are too beautiful not to share.

awesome jianxuan!

2009-08-31T15:15:00.003+08:00

I just wanna shout- JIANXUAN IS AWESOME FOR HELPING ME WITH MY LAST MINUTE FIL230 RESEARCH! :D :D :D

don't you love friends like these? :D

Sometimes I don't know what to feel

2009-08-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I don't know what to feel.

It's like having this big, heavy rock on your chest weighing you down but yet there's no one you can talk to to get it off your chest so you can finally breathe properly.

Sometimes I wish life just wasn't this complicated.

Awesome friends in NTU!

2009-08-25T09:56:00.002+08:00

Fiona is so lazy that she has 9999999 photos NOT uploaded from her camera and is too lazy to plug it in and retrieve all the photos :D Which pretty much explains the lack of photos here, giving you the FALSE impression that there has been nothing much in my life going on lately but that's SO NOT TRUE! Haha.

Life, in fact, has been extremely fulfilling and enjoyable. Living in hall has really made me feel more at home than my family can ever make me feel, what with my awesome friends around to always HTHT with and all our little room visits! School, albeit boring in lectures (if I can Facebook/MSN/blog while in lectures YET still being able to listen and understand, that pretty much tells you about the difficulty of this course, doesn't it? *wide smile*)

You know how there are some friends who make you feel good about yourself (and life) whenever you're with them? Some friends whom you can HTHT with and share secrets openly because you know nothing will leak out outside of your circle? Here, in hall, I've met friends like these. Friends who start off my day on a good note by making my (otherwise lonely) breakfasts taste a little better because of their company, friends who you know will be joining you when you dance in hall, friends who welcome you to their room and keep you company when your roomie goes off and leaves you alone in the room, friends who eat dinner with you and friends who make life AWESOME! :D

These are the friends I've found in Draco, whom I am grateful for.

Coming into university has really opened my eyes on many things and issues surrounding us. Amidst all the gossiping and numerous gatherings, at the heart of it lies the core of super-awesome friendships for which I really appreciate. I also love my CS OG-mates, Bocelli, and I felt that this really showed especially during the STARS wars where nice people came to offer me electives/called me the instant they saw a slot opening up/gave me encouragement ("Two more days! Keep camping!") which finally ended in me successfully clinching the FIL230 slot (did I mention how I checked my degree audit TEN times because I couldn't believe I actually managed to get it?!)

And while I'm on the issue of the STARS wars, I'll like to highlight a quote by my awesome friend Jon (the guy without a laptop during the STARS war):

"Eh, can I borrow your laptop?" says Jonny to his friend.

*Jonny sees a slot available, clicks on it, and TADA!*

"I got it!"

This is the guy, who got not one, but TWO, slots without camping, unlike poor Fiona who spent over 60hours camping before she successfully obtained hers -.-

I digress. So yeah, kudos for my awesome friends! If you're reading this, you know I love you :)

Okay, so a short summary of what I've been up to lately:

-The super-awesome Genting trip

-3 super awesome NTU camps

-WKWSCI D&D

-Hall dinners with my super awesome Draco

-The super-high Hall Jash

-Swimming at super-fun Jurong swimming complex

-Playing around with my super-awesome Macbook Pro

-Nat's birthday celebration on the Singapore Flyer

and now lazy Fiona decides she's too lazy to complete the list because she has other things on her mind! :D

But before I continue rambling, please visit my (obscure) friend Jian Xuan's blog which is so super hilariously entertaining that I read it during my lecture!

P.S. Last night I was studying in Kah Sing's room and he very nicely offered me cup noodles for supper! Yay to Monkey :D and over at Jon/Weiren's room, the very nice Jon fetched water for boiling, boiled the water, supplied me with chopsticks to eat the noodles with and even washed up after I was done for me! Awesome room service right :D Oh and there's of course the awesome Chiobu, who very kindly came to help me carry my super-heavy bags when I moved into hall on Sunday at midnight! :) Yay for fabulous friends in hall! With friends like these, who needs family? =x

P.P.S. Okay I promise to upload photos REALLY SOON. If you managed to read finish this whole chunk of rambling nonsense, PLEASE TAG TO SHOW YOUR AWESOMENESS :D

2009-08-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

the JOYS of winning STARS wars.
pawned.

STARS is seriously pissing me off

2009-08-20T10:53:00.002+08:00

I'm quite sick of camping on STARS for hours on end, refreshing my browser relentlessly yet still seeing the same "0" number glaring at me tauntingly in the face, as though to say "too bad, we can't accommodate you in this class" each and every time I visit the page. It's seriously infuriating, not to mention tiring, for all the millions of times I've been trying to get a slot.

Why are the classes so full, and why couldn't there be a better system invented? While I understand the rationale and logic behind our current system, that doesn't mean I'm in favour of it, especially so because I happen to be one of the unlucky ones who NEVER get anything. Shouldn't my relentless camping at least give me some credit in return? :(

On another note, I'm at home now and seriously missing hall. While others suffer from the homesickness syndrome, I think I'm quite the opposite. I miss all my friends in hall and I miss my comfy and brightly-coloured room. Adds a little bit of colour into my life, and it's nice knowing that there will always be friends around you at any hour of the day. I miss my Draco mates and I want to hang out with them again! It's quite true about how it's all about the people, ALWAYS. I love hall the most because I love the people there the most, and that's why I want to commit. It's pretty amazing and I love love love my hall life.

Back to emo-ing, and growling back at the STARS system again -.-

Why care?

2009-08-18T14:06:00.003+08:00

At times I wonder why I care so much.

Why care?

2009-08-18T14:06:00.001+08:00

At times I wonder why I care so much.

Superficiality

2009-08-17T19:35:00.003+08:00

It's quite sad to see how, at the end of the day, so many people still care so much about superficiality anyway even when we all know it doesn't mean a thing.

Super tight schedule up ahead!

2009-07-27T18:04:00.000+08:00

(I can't believe that after almost two weeks, blogger is still screwed up -.-)

Anyway, my upcoming schedule is unbelievably tight. Take a look:

Monday: Pack for Stellar camp, Genting trip and Hall camp.
Tues: teach 3 tuitions, back-to-back.
Wed-Fri: Away at Stellar camp.
Friday: Collect passport and pack last-min items for Genting trip. Set off at night.
Sat-Sunday: Genting! To celebrate my dearest Daddy's birthday :)
Sunday night: Return to Singapore.
Monday to Saturday: Hall Camp, with 2 birthday celebrations in between.

Everything is back-to-back and I won't be sleeping at home for almost 2 weeks! I'll definitely miss my bed... But I'm pretty excited especially about the Genting trip because I haven't been overseas in years!

On a brighter note, August is coming and with that, a couple of important dates/events!
-Blueberry's birthday :) I haven't decided what to buy her yet!
-Start of university! I'm actually pretty excited yet nervous at the same time.
-Anniversary with Anna. I think this is our...6th year? I lost count.
-Anniversary celebrations with the boy :)
-Filming with Crimewatch!

I'm off to continue packing for Hall camp now, and then sit down in front of my tv and ENJOY HARRY POTTER muahahaha!
P.S. I love KFC breakfast :D

Teenage Smash & OG Outing

2009-07-23T16:17:00.002+08:00

Hello world!

Last Saturday was Teenage Smash!
A big thankyou to everyone who came down, I shall ramble off names here but if I miss out any do forgive me okay or tag me on my blog and I’ll add it in!
You must pardon an old woman for her failing memory :P
Kenneth, Michelle, Joyce, Joanne, Karen, Kelly, Meiyan, Calister, Leo, Joyce Stella, Ming Hui, Zhen Huan, Shao Chong, Yu Hong, Yan Lan, Edwin, Jin Hua, Bean and hubby, Mun Loong, Ming Feng, Pei Swen, cousin Hui Kiang and family, Hui Boon and wife, Hui Si, Siyin, Si Ying, Jia Ying, See Yuen, Syazali, Ziyan, Cheryl, Janean, Marcus, Jordan, Wan Lin, Guang Liang, Alwyn, Laurel, Noeleen, Madeline, Shuang Ling, Kenneth Goh.

BOCELLI - Lynn, Sarah, Samantha, Amelia, Yan Yu, Yan Ping, Pearl, Malcolm, Jun Feng, Wayne, Kang Wei, Pedro, Zak, OCS Marcus, super senior Marcus, Jac, Jeanette, Xinyi, Cedrick, Sihan, Alex, Eunice, Ming En and omg did I miss out anyone else from Bocelli?????
And I also wanna thank my dearest partner Weinian and pageant-bestie Latifa for such a memorable time together on Saturday!
Although I didn’t win the pageant, I was crowned Miss Popularity and Miss Gorgeous, so I’m still happy with the results because at least I walked away with two titles to my name!
Hopefully this stint with Teenage Smash helps propel my modelling career forward!

I also want to give a shoutout to these dearest people:
Michelle - for getting your NUS OG to vote for me!
Joyce Stella - for coming down despite your packed schedule.
Bocelli - for being such an awesome and supportive OG.
Yanlan - for coming down bravely, alone! Omg girl I love you to bits.
Jun Feng - for taking such an awesome video and getting your poly friends to vote.
Laurel- for getting your poly friends to vote.
Alwyn, Madeline, Noeleen and Shuang Ling - for coming down despite your prelims.
Kenneth - for waiting the whole day for me and being so supportive and sporting during the event when you were asked to do stuff by both the judges and my OG. Thank you!

Enough said. I’ll let the photos do the rest of the rambling:

OG outing:
On 15th July, Bocelli held our second OG outing! This time was to chat, chill and mainly make boards/banners for my pageant on Saturday. Haha. I had a blast chatting with them and we were all going gaga over Malcolm’s awesome camera!

Enough said, here are the photos:

Who loves Bocelli?

2009-07-13T22:31:00.007+08:00

I'm back from FOC! But before I go on, here's a more urgent issue: my Teenage Fabtastic 4 pageant this coming Saturday! The magazine is gonna hit newstands this week (August issue) so please keep a lookout okay! And do vote for my partner and I (Wei Nian and Fiona Cher) for your chosen winners :)

Here's a pic of me with my dearest makeup artist, Gwen!

Don't forget, the event will start at 11am so come on time to watch me do my catwalk alright! :)
Venue: Siloso Beach, Sentosa
Time: 11am to 4pm+ (if you're staying till the end of the beach fiesta, it'l be til 7.30pm)
Activities: Performances, flea market, beach activities and contests, not to mention my pageant!

And here I am, on the front page of teenage smash's website! you can check it out at teenage.com.sg, click on the teenage smash icon on the top bar :)

I really wanna give a shoutout to a few notable people for now:
Michelle, Joyce and Joanne- for being so rahrah on the NAT forums and getting supporters for me!
Joyce Stella- for all the publicity that she has done for this event. She's like my publicity manager *wink* thanks so much for all your effort and hard work!
Bocelli- for being so hyped up and enthu about this event and organising an entire OG outing around it just to support me! I love you guys!
Yanlan- for being such a supportive friend and one of my biggest fan-friends. *big hug!*

of course and everyone else who promised to come down this Sat, but for those thankyous I'll do it next week after the pageant is over :)

Now on to WKWSCI FOC09!

It was a total blast, I enjoyed myself to the max. Usually I don't really enjoy camps, but this FOC has really changed my impression of camps because I've never enjoyed myself so much before! I love all my OG mates to bits because they're such awesome people and so easy to get along with. The bonds formed were really amazing and I look forward to spending a good 4years together with these people!

We were the first OG to hold an OG outing somemore. NOT BAD RIGHT! hahaha.
I miss mass-dancing to "Jai-Ho" with everyone, getting comments on my dancing, the jokes with the Bocellians, the HTHs with Grace and Lynn, the suan-ing of Pedro, Mano's "(insert name here) WOOHOO!!" way of sabotaging people, fright night, banana boating and kayaking, our Michael Sexson tributes, the girls' gossip sessions at night during our chalet stay, Yanyu's "when is mealtime?" constant questions, our "peeping through the window" and backstreet boys song, our Siew Mai and Fight Kill cheers and so much more. I miss you guys so much already!
Who loves Bocelli? :) Hands up please.

Teenage Fabtastic 4 Pageant!

2009-07-03T15:04:00.002+08:00

Hey everyone! I'll be involved in the Teenage Fabtastic 4 pageant finals which will take place on 18th July at Siloso Beach, Sentosa estimated time from 11am-4pm latest! Please come down on that day to vote for me!

You can catch me in the next issue of Teenage magazine with the rest of the finalists; I'm contestant F8 :)

Please visit http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=97126729033&ref=nf to check out the details and come support me!

Will be leaving for my Freshmen Orientation Camp for the whole of next week so just facebook message/email/text me if you need to contact me! I'll reply SMSes on the day I receive them but for internet-wise do give me at least a week because I wont have internet access while in camp.

Meet the finalists! (Spot me if you can!)

That was quite easy right? (Second row, middle in black)

I'm contestant F8, and here's my partner M8.
Pls vote for me okay! You know I love you :)

See you there on the 18th lovelies!
And please come and say hi to me if you come down to support me because I want to personally thank you!

Quick updates before I go off to camp!

2009-07-03T14:47:00.003+08:00

Sorry I haven't been updating regularly! I've been really caught up in lots of activities, here's just a sneak preview of what I've been involved in:

-Michelle's surprise birthday celebration
-panda movie-cum-shopping outing with Yanlan
-dinner with the sec sch besties to celebrate HY's birthday
-dinner with mel keith and cheryl at crystal jade
-transformers movie with kenneth ruo and thar er
-photoshoot and workshop with teenage magazine
-choreographing a new dance (Lady Gaga's "Just Dance")
-watching a magic show (J C Sum and Magic Babe Ning!)
-far east shopping with the texas sisters and JS
-visiting the doctor for my injured foot!
-amk hub shopping with yanlan
-HK cafe with the texas sisters, JS and ZH
-meeting Keith to sign on with his modelling agency

and what not, I can't remember anymore.

Here's me with MagicBabe Ning and J C Sum after watching their magic performance on Monday! It was the first time I ever watched a magic show and I got to say that it was AWESOME! Seriously! Tickets are a little pricey at $38 but I have to admit that the show will be worth your every cent if you decide to watch it. Not forgetting that you get to see a real hot sexy babe in action! :) Ning oozes sexy charm from every pore of her body, seriously, HAHAHA! But all in all, the show was great and I would recommend this to everyone out there! Do support Singapore's local magicians alright!

With the rest of the group. They're a crazy bunch :P

Here are two group shots from Michelle's suprise birthday party from last Tuesday (feels like such a long time ago lol) I met really nice people including Rudy and Sitian! hahah. Not to mention it was heartwarming seeing the look on Michelle's face when we turned up to surprise her :P

Singapore River Festival

2009-06-23T14:20:00.002+08:00

-as continued from previous post-

SRF- The Singapore River Festival!

Remember the pajamas flash mob that I mentioned a couple of posts back? The one that took place in Orchard?

Well, there was a follow-up to the event: the post-PJ party in conjunction with the SRF! :)

Met two babes, Isabel and Alissa darlings, who are from Texas and back in Singapore for a short vacation. I had a blast hanging out with them, and will be seeing them soon again this Thursday when they come over to visit me + kbox + magic show + visit to the Asian Civilization Museum! Heh.

Some photos of us dancing and having the time of our lives at the party. The whole night included watching an aerial performance (the dancers are super graceful, flexible and strong!) and a boat ride on the Hippo Duck tours! heh. Isabel got so excited upon seeing the Merlion, lol.

Yup, quite a crowd turned up, as you can see. Haha.

Our pretty purple ribbons, which identified us as the purple group :)

With ours ICs!

Alissa tying my ribbon for me, because Zhi Zhan did such a lousy job lol.

Tomorrow will be my medical checkup, followed by 5.5hours of tuition straight. Let's pray I survive :) At least the students are willing to come to my place for tuition this week, since I'm injured and can't really travel to their places.

Will end off here for now, toodles! Pray I recover soon okay? *wink*

Being injured!

2009-06-23T13:51:00.004+08:00

Hello folks! I'm so bored being stuck at home that I decided to do a long overdue photo update on all the stuff that has been going on ever since my public relations internship ended.

I'm stuck home for most of this week, as my friends already know, because I've injured my foot and it's really painful and inconvenient for me to walk about. Here's a picture for you guys to see. I've got a picture of the black toe itself but decided against posting it up eventually cos I don't wanna gross you guys out hahaha.

I'm really hoping it heals real soon because I want to get back to dancing!

And I wanna thank my dearest blueberry, for coming over to visit me yesterday when I was bored at home. We watched The Lake House (my fourth time, lol) and pigged out on snacks! There was also something wrong with my phone yesterday so I ignored it for an hour or so while I was watching the DVD and look at what greeted me when I finally went to check it:

Amazing right! LOL! I was totally stunned.

Here's a pic of my DARRRRLINNG blueberry, whom I'll be roommates with in university! can't wait :) I love the girl <3

Last Friday, went out with Zhi Zhan to Dempsey Hill for a very late lunch at 3pm, but lunch at P.S. Cafe was good! It is my second time there and although the prices are insane, the food always taste fabulous :) The picture above is of their flower-petal-studded walkway! I love the walkway, it reminds me of the time I had a photoshoot with Marcus and Cheryl and we visited P.S Cafe.

I ordered Shephard's Pie with pea soup, HEALTHY EATING lol though I wished I had ordered chicken instead because I was starving from the lack of food the entire day and I wanted something a little more filling!

Last Wednesday, as previously mentioned, I went out with Yanlan and we shopped till we dropped, lol. Bought comfy sneakers with her; we're planning to wear this together to attend our uni courses :)

The dear girl! haha. I'll be seeing her again tomorrow for our uni checkup, and she's getting her mom to drive over to my place to fetch me since I'm injured. Such a sweetie right? :)

There was a transformation on our shopping trip out, where I went to meet her dressed in this :

and came back looking like this after lunch:
HAHAHA! Yes I know, I'm versatile :)

Shall continue about the Singapore River Festival in the next post! I don't wanna mess the photos up, since Joel says they're super messy -.-

injured and dancing is out of the question

2009-06-20T12:33:00.000+08:00

Such an irony:

I went on the dancefloor last night because 1) I wanted to practice and 2) I wanted to try to pick up some new moves to integrate in my newer dance songs.

Well as it turned out, I didn't learn any new moves ANNNNDDDD I freaking got myself injured because some girl in high heels jumped down from the stage and landed on her heels on my toe.

So now my toe is black. I'm limping as I walk, and dancing is out of the question for me.

I feel so frustrated that I want to dance, but now, I can't even dance to express and release my emotions.
ARGHHHHHH! :'(

I really, really, really, want to dance.

Long overdue entry!

2009-06-18T15:43:00.002+08:00

Hello world! My internship officially ended this week on the 15th, so I've been having a blast ever since! (Still got some leftover work from my internship which I took on though, so that's like no-pay work that I gotta do next week!)

Been going out pretty often this week and I've having a lot of fun! On Saturday, went out with Kenneth to the PC show but we didn't manage to find my camera, boo. Went off for Nuffnang's first ever flashmob in PJs after that and met some pretty cool friends! Following which was dinner at Seoul Garden in Taka to celebrate Minghui's birthday :) we bought him two shirts as his present! And he seems to like them alot so yay.

On Tuesday, met up with beloved blueberry and hanny (lol) for KFC morning breakfast, yum! I love their waffles and egg combi, and their honey biscuit is my ultimate fav! After that, went back to AJ to collect SGC and then blueberry came over to my house to settle university application forms together! There are so many deadlines to take note of -.-

Went for a facial in the afternoon with blueberry and it was so freaking painful, I swear, I'll never go back there again! I cried buckets during the facial, no kidding, cos it was SO painful okay. The facialists tried to hardsell us their $800 student package which was "on offer only for today" and that totally put me off, so we left right after the facial was done with.

In the evening, went for another modelling interview and then I headed off to J8 to meet Joel for dinner! Had a superb and filling meal at Mahattan Fish Market (I think my spelling is off, but whateverrrrr) and then we went off to do some shopping for sports clothes! I needed new ones to bring into university whereas Joel needed some singlets for his university camp, so we spent quite some time shopping.

That's Minghui in the photo, taken on Saturday. I'm quite lazy to arrange the photos so I'm leaving them as they are! Haha.

The flashmob, afterwhich Ash got her friend Walter to interview me for some Nanyang newsletter, LOL, embarrassing!

Pillow fight!

As for yesterday, I went out shopping the whole day with Yanlan! We stopped by at Bugis first where we ate our lunch at Yoshinoya (go take advantage of their student meal holiday offer, $5.95 for sides + rice bowl + house mix + donut ice cream!) and headed off to buy my canvas ballet shoes after that. Then it was off to Bugis Village for shopping! My buys included:
-new dance pants (FINALLY! I feel super sexy while dancing in them cos they're so new, heh, what with my fetish for new stuffs.)
-a black basic spag top
-1 sneaker pumps which are ultra comfy
-1 black ballet pumps from my fav make
-1 black glittery top for clubbing

I feel super tempted to go back and stock up on more dance pants for use during uni! They're really super comfy to dance in, plus I'll definitely wear them out after a while so should I stock up? =/ Hmm.

We spent quite some time in Orchard and went round looking for swimwear but couldn't find any :( ohwell, shall try finding again maybe next week. Pretty soon it was time for tuition! That dreadful 3.5hours of tuition that I always have on Wednesday :( The long timing never fails to tire me out :(

And now it's Thursday with me sitting in front of my computer screen trying to mix together a new dance cd for my new revamped dance routine! Heh. I'm off to make my dance cd now, so tatas!

SingTel BroadBand on Mobile Youth Plan

2009-06-18T15:26:00.002+08:00

I'm such an Internet addict that I always feel weird if I don't log in at least once a day (except on weekends) to check my mail/Facebook/blogs!

Like for instance when I'm in the toilet. When you're with friends, it's still okay cos we can camwhore together. But when you're alone in the toilet having a tummy ache, wouldn't having Internet access make the pain more bearable since you get to watch your favourite Youtube shows while uh, doing your business? :P

Or even while on the train! Especially for long rides like the ones I take to teach tuition/go to my university campus which range from 30 to 90minutes worth of travelling time! Waiting for buses is also REALLY boring if you're on your own, and I've always wished there could be Internet access during these periods of absolute boredom.

But HOOOOORAY! Now that Singtel has launched their Mobile Broadband plan, Internet access is possible anywhere and everywhere! No more boredom in the toilet or while travelling anymore! The best part? They have special price packages for youths!

Live Life Online Anywhere with SingTel BroadBand on Mobile Youth Plan! Visit www.singtel.com/youth for details.

Dance, Subaru!

2009-06-12T12:12:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I went to town with JS and watched Dance Subaru!

The movie was totally awesome and the dances are breathtakingly beautiful, inspiring me to take up dancing again. I lost sight of my love for contemporary dancing in the midst of my hectic work lifestyle, but after this movie, I'm reminded of the role dancing plays in my life.

I'm definitely going to get the DVD when it's released!

The lead actress, who is oh-so-pretty-and-graceful when she danced :)

On another note, I'll be involved in doing something totally WILD and OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD tomorrow! It's a really last-minute, spontaneous act on my part but what the heck, you only get to live once, no harm doing some crazy things every now and then right? ;)

And on a more downcast note, I'm not sure I have the confidence to face the auditions tomorrow. Because now, more than ever, I suddenly feel insignificant; that I'm not pretty or good enough for this.

deep searing pain

2009-06-11T00:44:00.001+08:00

and there's this deep, searing pain that pierces through my heart that no one knows about except me.

I really, really wish, that there were certain secrets I didn't know. it hurts twice as much when you can't tell anyone because that's what it's supposed to be: kept secret.

when you're so freaking self-centred

2009-06-10T14:46:00.002+08:00

Hello earthlings! Feels like quite a while since I last did a proper post. Hmm, wasn't feeling well over the weekend and was literally weak from the lack of energy despite lots of rest, but I'm okay already now! :) And I'm in the mood for photos so here we go!

My sis gave me a pack, on top of the one that I already have! I'm loving their conditioner, it's really giving me silky hair that is soft to the touch, woohoo!

And these were the multitude of skincare samples from Acnes that Teenage gave me over the weekend! There's really a lot right? Haha.

Now, this pic is of my gorgeous newly bought heels which I will be wearing out this Saturday! Can't wait to go out in them!

The mountains of essays and homework that I have to mark for my students...I swear, I'm probably one of the rare few tuition teachers who actually bring so much work back home to do! It's like working OT without being paid, lol.

My newest love: my creative zen player! <33333

On Saturday, went to town with Kenneth and there was a Caucasian salesboy who gave me a on-the-spot perm for his product demonstration! Haha I was so tempted to buy the curler from the boy, but it was $160 and wayyy out of my budget :( The curls were super pretty though, and he was really good at curling my hair! Didn't take photos of it though =/

He's ALWAYS playing on his PSP, haha. And now there's a new game- car racing! My fave is still DJ Max though. Taken with our friend, PCK :P LOL!

And before I sign off, here's my photo montage for my modelling portfolio! Haha. I really love these photos and my lovely photographers for making all of this possible for me. Offers have been coming in, including one on Sunday for a 4-hour US photoshoot paying USD200/hr, NOT BAD RIGHT! Haha though I didn't go for that one cos it's a lingerie shoot and I don't believe in doing skimpy modelling :) shall retain my portfolio for the more "decent" shoots, haha!

So thank you to everyone who has made this possible, and thank you also to all of you who have been so supportive of my part-time modelling stint so far! I love you guys!

Oh yeah, on another (not so bright) note, I'm pretty irritated with my sis for being so inconsiderate and self-centred. She was discussing yesterday with my mom on buying a new laptop for her own personal use, and when I countered if she REALLY needed it, she justified by saying yes, because she needs it for her Project Work.

But here's the situation. In less than 3months, I'll be getting a laptop when I enter university and then the laptop we have at home will be completely hers to use. So what's the point of buying another laptop, since then there will be one leftover at home?

She complains that the current laptop we have is slow and problematic. Well, the answer is quite simple right? Either bear with it for a few more months, or just send it for fixing! Come on, PW is ending in a few more months, and in actual fact she doesn't even NEED a laptop to do PW. I myself went through PW without a laptop and I still got my A, didn't I? It's not as though buying a new laptop will get her a decent grade for her PW.I really can't stand how self-centred and immature she can be at times.

When I was her age (JC1) I was already working part-time by giving tuition to earn money because I understood the financial difficulties that she face. And that's also the reason why dad, mom and I are working so hard right now, chalking up 63hours a week on my part, just to try to secure ourselves a financial safety net. It's the reason why I worked so hard to get a scholarship so we could relieve our financial burden. Yet here she is, spending money like water and not thinking twice before she makes new purchases. Tell me then, what's the point?

It's high time we all stopped thinking only for ourselves and start looking at the big picture.

Okay, rant over.

I'm looking forward to the weekends!

creative zen is love

2009-06-04T11:22:00.001+08:00

MY DAD BOUGHT ME MY CREATIVE ZEN PLAYER!
dadadidumdumdumdidumdumdadada LALALALA!

Got another interview this Saturday. Wish me luck! :)

Picture updates! College Day

2009-06-02T11:04:00.003+08:00

I'm really lazy to turn this pic around so just bear with me and twist your eyes :P i mean, your position. HAHA.

Anyway, last Saturday was College Day and I was invited back to get my award. The best part of the prize would definitely have to be the $80 book vouchers from Times though!! I am SO going to buy my Time Traveller's Wife novel now AHAAHAH! Shall go shopping for it when my contract ends :D and I read yesterday that the movie is coming out maybe this year/early next year! I can't wait!! It's like my top favourite novel after Nicholas Sparks (and that's saying something okay ahahha)

And here's my plaque, yay :) Pretty, I like!

On Thursday night (lol I'm backtracking on a per day basis now) I went to watch Monsters vs Aliens in 3D with Kenneth! He came over to AMK Hub for dinner and the movie for me :) wanted to watch Dance Subaru! instead but the timing was wayyy off! Anyway the 3D effects of the movie were rather cool and the humour was superbly lame, haha, good if you're looking for a good lame laugh :P

We're very fascinated with our 3D glasses, as you can tell from these photos. Haha.

Friday afternoon, took leave off and I managed to meet Kenneth for his carbo-loading lunch buffet at Sakae Sushi! Only started eating at 3pm though, and I had to cancel my tuition cos it was so last minute!

We're playing with our food :P I finished almost all of the desserts on my own, I think. And I had a lot of salmon! Heh.

And here's a hilarious picture we took while on Thursday and I was working. Tried to play around with the webcam while I was waiting for my files to load and this was what the camera told us:

ROFL hilarious right! Almost as though the camera is throwing a tantrum, if you can imagine :P

Now this photo is pretty outdated, from last last Thursday's outing with the stAJe clique. Poor bear is chained to the pole :(

I'm patting the other chained-up bear! heh.

Two more weeks till my contract ends, then it'll be full-blast shopping with the girls for my university stuffs! Can't wait, university seems like a whole new world for me. And there's the new life away from my family to look forward to!

Contract ending soon!

2009-06-01T16:36:00.002+08:00

And I hope this goes a long, long way.

My contract ends in mid-June! Hopefully I'll be able to settle everything, including preparations for hostel and university life during that period before FOC starts! And I need to settle my tuition dilemma! Anyone wants to take over some of my kids? :)